Asshole on Patrol

heterophilia:

Thinking youre attractive but having a lot of insecurities is like having a crush on yourself but not knowing if you like yourself back.

things u like in bed?
Anonymous

uhhhh. I like comfort. And silliness. Also, I love giving and receiving oral. Because yes. It’s one of my fav things. 

electricshoebox:

pomfcat:

Such polite barks

he gets up all excited the last time like YEAH I’M GONNA SPEAK YEAH WATCH THIS

"…….wuf"

The first time I had sex it was with a girl while i was drunk, and she was already naked and was trying to take my bra and shirt off at the same time and it got stuck in the process, so I couldn't see or move my arms.
Anonymous

that’s adorable omg

Like Youre really fucking beautiful So pretty Wow I am speechless Im just gonna bask in your existence for a while
Anonymous

JUST AN ANNOUNCEMENT. THAT I WEAR MAKEUP AND PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO MY APPEARANCE AND YEAH. Thank you so much for the compliments. But I just want to let people know that it’s not just all natural. That there’s effort involved. 

thank you though!

a kid came up to me out of the blue a few months ago and asked if i was a lesbian. i responded by grabbing two of my girl friends and saying "obviously, do you think these guys are just eye candy??"
Anonymous

perfect

One New Years Eve, I managed to get my crush to come hang at a party I was at and everyone started to hook up. He didn't want to so I tried to just sleep in the same bed as him because it was like 3am at this point and he kicked me out of the bed yelling "I AM IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST." Oh and then made me drive him home.

LIKE I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE BUT THEN IT WAS REAL AND I’M SO SORRY BUT ALSO YOU DODGED A BULLET. 

when i was in middle school we had to watch a videos during science class and a girl in the back of the class gave another kid a handjob during one because the teacher was old and always fell asleep so she got suspended for like a month
Anonymous

And not the dude??? Fuck that.